No regrets, really?

It really bothers me when I see people on television or even when I hear people I know say they have no regrets in their life. It boggles my mind and I just simply cannot understand how someone can feel that way.

I can only speak for myself, obviously, but there are so many things in my life I wish I had done differently, so many situations I put myself through that caused me and those around me pain and so many times I even risk my life without any valid reason. I don't think I'm the only one out there who thinks this way.

Of course, those experiences made me who I am today and I am stronger because I went through all of it, but I honestly believe there's gotta be another way to learn, something other than "the hard way" and not always by making mistakes. Is it possible to look at someone else's life and say: Wow! I am never doing that!  or that did not work out for her? and truly take it into account next time we face a similar situation, or is this analysis a result of the fact that I am no longer in my early twenties and therefore I am smarter and because I messed up so many times I finally learn my lesson?

The one thing I appreciate about having had so many bad experiences is that nothing surprises me anymore, nothing really shocks me, I have acquired the ability to understand and even relate to the most amazing and sometimes even awful things people tell me. Maybe because I've been there myself or because I understand how a good person with a good heart is sometimes capable of doing something most people would describe as "despicable".

The thing is we are all human, and with time we should develop the strength to recover from almost anything. Every day, we are given the opportunity to become better people, more human and more compassionate. It is a never ending process and I am grateful for it.

The business of friendship

Friendship is forever
At least is what they say
But when I think about it
it just keeps sounding fake

This virtual world keeps lying to us
making us believe  we're not alone
One thousand friends is not enough
we want more, we need more.

When I think about my friends
Facebook doesn't come to mind
but a word, a phone call
That's what makes my heart smile

If twitter makes you clever with its witty comments and what not
Instagram makes you feel that you got it going on
Don't let Facebook trick you, don't let it deceive you
Believe me when I tell you,  it is all a circus

I just only have a few, but they are real. They are there
When times get tough and tears flow, they know me and I know them

They don't like my pics on Facebook
they don't tag me on their posts
but what they do is more important
no matter what, they show me love.

MA Ossa

I want to be surprised.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your plans".

Well, I have to confess that I am a big planner, both my husband and I make lists almost daily of things we need and want to accomplish, it's our little way to organize an otherwise chaotic life. So much is unexpected that I personally feel as if I have to have some sense of control over something at some point.

But in itself this is an exhausting task. It's like living on a deadline "I have to do this on Monday" I have to finish this book by Friday" I haven't gotten an allergy shot in a week, I have to do it tomorrow", "I have one week to find a new gym".

Even tonight, I sat in front of my computer thinking "I have to write something on the blog".

Why? Who cares? What is that about? Why are we so hard on ourselves?

I don't have an answer to any of those questions and I refuse to spend time trying to figure out why, because in reality I have control over very little, nothing to be honest. God is in control of everything and yet, I continue to try to get my way, failing miserably every single time.

It's ok to be organized, to write things down, to make lists, or whatever works for you, but it's also good to sit and receive what life throws at you with a smile. To expect the unexpected, to call someone you haven't talked to in a while for no other reason than to say hi, to smile at people on the street, to enjoy every little thing you do, to have a candy bar for lunch, to take a walk just to see what's on the other side of the road, to laugh, maybe even cry and perhaps later tell someone or even write about it.

So this week I only have one thing on my list:

- I will let life surprise me.

What are you gonna do?

It's been a while...

It's been a while since I last wrote here on the blog, in my journal or in any other place. The busyness of like has taken over, but in a good way.
It's been a while since I complained about my life. Lately I have been able to see the grace and mercy of God in all I do and everything around me. It truly is a great feeling.
It's been a while since I cried for any reason other than happiness and joy. I feel content.
It's been a while since I had trouble sleeping. Most nights I am able to rest and wake up restored and refreshed.
It's been a while since I wondered about the future, not that I want to be surprised (I don't like surprises at all), it's just that I am trusting God more and more these days, and with that trust also comes the peace that surpasses all understanding.
It's been a while since I counted my losses instead of my blessings.
It's been a while since I looked at my past with regret and guilt. I have learned something from every single experience, I see myself and others with compassion because of my past.

I am happy and content. Life is good.

What a great day!

This foreign soul has changed a lot in the past few months. Everything around me has also changed.

I wake up every morning thanking God for what I have and even for what I've lost.

I have prayed for my loved ones and for those I don't even care about.

I no longer worry about the little things, instead I treasure every moment of every day, they are small gifts of love from above.

I enjoy the present, this moment, right here, as I type this post listening to Alex Campos and smiling, waiting for my house guests to come downstairs and plan the day with them.

Waiting for my husband and child to come home, to hold them and tell them how much I love them

To hang out with friends, those who celebrate my victories and rejoice with every accomplishment, but more importantly, those who hold my hand when I have no words to express how I feel.

Today is a wonderful day, I am about to begin another chapter in my life and I am ready, I feel blessed.

What a great feeling!

How do you feel today? I hope you are able to see God in everything you do today.

I don't want to prove you wrong...

I went out for coffee with a good friend on Sunday and we talked about many things, we shared some good laughs and touched many interesting topics. One in particular really has stuck with me for the past three days. Freedom... it is such a wide concept.

I am beginning to understand what that looks like. Understanding and accepting myself just the way I am and not letting other people's perception of me determine my value as a person.

I sometimes spend my precious time thinking about what this person or that person think of me and why, as if that makes a difference, people believe what they want to believe, they judge others based on their own flaws, because let's face it, it is easier to see flaws in others that it is to look deeply at ourselves and point out the things we don't like or we know are wrong.

I am accepting the fact that I don't have the energy or the power to prove everybody wrong, I just don't. So I decided to stop trying. I will spend my time and energy cultivating meaningful relationships with family and friends. The rest will fall into place all by itself.

That is what freedom looks like to me these days.

Silence is golden.

Sometimes silence is the best way to say: I know, I understand.

Sometimes silence is the smartest choice

Is how you can finally hear your inner voice again

Is how you learn, how you evaluate and think about what you've done and what you are going to do in the future

How can I do things better? How can I be better?

I meditate on these questions in silence because I can only change myself, I have no control over anyone or anything else.

I wait patiently for things to change, to improve and it's already happening

and even if I don't get what I want right now or even at all

I am learning little by little that with every loss there is also a gain

It's acceptable to be vulnerable and fragile, it only shows you're human

Right now, silence is my best choice. Silence is golden.