I am sorry...

It is time to make amends, to reconcile, to love, to understand…

To whom do I owe the biggest apology?

I have been thinking about this for days and the answer is simple.

The first person I would like to publicly apologize to is myself. No one's been crueler than I've been to me.

For hearing all my doubts, for beating myself up and over functioning.

For letting others decide if I indeed was desirable

For my love to myself being so embarrassingly conditional.

For being so critical and judgmental

For not showing enough compassion

For not fighting hard enough for what you really wanted.

For giving up so easily and looking the other way

I'm sorry to myself.

My apologies begin here before anybody else

I'm sorry to myself.

For treating me worse than I would have treated anybody else.

For ignoring you: my highest voice.

For giving you less than what you deserved

For thinking it was ok.

For smiling when my strife was all too obvious.

And for not letting go when it would've been the kindest thing.

From now on, I promise to work harder, to never settle for less, to love you and to cherish you. To always acknowledge that you are God's creation after all.